


Rule Two: Slow Down

by Es_Aitch



Series: Twelfth Doctor One Shots  Series 9 [9]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 23:13:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5351957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Es_Aitch/pseuds/Es_Aitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Still Processing “Face the Raven” and “Heaven Sent.”  Don’t know that I’ll ever stop.  Alternate Scene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rule Two: Slow Down

Clara looked up at the Doctor with such certainty. She had total confidence in him and what he could do. To the point of being able to stop death. “We always fix it.”

He couldn’t fix it. Not this time. Then Clara’s tone changed. Trying to convince him stop his tirade. He stepped close to her and took a hand in hers. His words were so soft, that only she could hear them. “Rule Two of Dying: slow down.”

And suddenly everything did slow down around them. They were still stood there in front of Ashildr, Rigsy, and the others, but it seemed like they were in another place as well. Clara looked around, unsure what was happening. “Where are we?”

The Doctor could manage a small smile. “Same place as before.” He squeezed her hand. “Touch telepath. Remember with the Dream Crabs? Time moves differently here. You have the rest of your life…”

He broke off, trying to keep his emotions in check. Clara could only attempt a broken smile. “Why?”

“Because it’s the only thing left that I _can_ do. Because I know you want me to save you and I can’t… Because you think more highly of me than you should.”

She pulled a face at the last comment. “I’ve been all over your Time Stream. I know you well enough to think exactly what I should think of you.”

He shook his head, with a heartbroken expression. “Clara, You only know the pieces of me that you have seen. And what you saw was limited. You’re trying to save me, but I was lost… so long ago. I destroyed Skaro once before. Before the Time War. I saw the Master engulfed in flames and I watched him _burn_! I did worse! I got in my TARDIS and I ran away! Do you know how many of my companions have died because of me? Did you honestly think that when I was a 'warrior' that was the worst of me?"

The Doctor may not be able to keep to her order and he felt he had to tell her why. She may not know all the destruction he has caused over his long lives. But he remembers every last one of them. He hears their screams just as loudly as the screams that remain from the Time War.

"It's not, Clara. And I don’t know that I can obey your order."

He's not a good man and an even worse Doctor. Why can't people ever see and accept that? Why do they always have to seek out the best in him? People in general don’t know how very hard he has to work at being the Doctor.

Clara could feel the tears sliding down her cheeks. She wasn’t strong enough for this. She couldn’t be strong enough for both of them, not when he was trying to smash through all of her resilience. “Doctor, please. “

“ _It’s hard enough already_ ,” went unsaid.

The Doctor nodded. He understood. Well, actually he didn’t. He just wanted to keep Clara with him as long as possible. “I… I can’t hold it off forever, but stay with me.”

_Right here, right now, in this moment, stay._

Clara looked around them at the others still in the room. “What do they see?”

He shrugged. “The two of us holding hands. Looking at each other. They don’t see us speaking or hear what we’re saying. Not even a second has passed for them yet.”

“And if we move?”

“It will be too fast for them to see.” He paused for a moment. “Clara, you don’t have to be strong for me.”

She nodded once. “But I do for _me_.”

“Let me make it easier for you, please.”

“How?”

“Stay here. With me. In this moment. I can’t stop it, but I can be with you. You’re the one who said I should be a Doctor.”

Clara managed a small chuckle at that. “No using my words against me. Besides, I don’t know many doctors who would keep such a watch over their patients.”

“I’m not just any Doctor.”

And then a proper smile did break through on Clara’s lips. “No, you’re not.” She went quiet for a moment. “And you’d watch anyway, even if I told you not to.”

He nodded once. Of course he would. He would always watch over her as long as he could.

She nodded once. “Okay.”

With that he released her hand and everything returned to normal time. They heard the Raven caw. And together they walked out into the Street.

Clara saw the raven sitting there and nearly lost her nerve, nearly running. The Doctor gave her elbow a little tug. “Don’t look at it. Face me.”

Clara turned and the pair just looked at each other for a long moment. And in that moment, both were as brave as they could be. Neither was alone.

When the Raven left its perch, the Doctor wrapped his arms around Clara as if a part of him thought maybe he was wrong – maybe he could save her from this. Just before the Raven entered Clara’s body, the Doctor turned his head and planted a gentle kiss to her temple.

He felt her entire body tense as the Raven entered it. And then the most terrible scream he had ever heard pierced his ears. It took him a moment to realise it was not only Clara’s scream. His own was mingled with it. He held her body tighter then. He was holding her close enough that when her last breath escaped her lungs, he could feel them deflate. He heard her slow and final exhale since the scream had been cut off suddenly.

He sank to the ground, cradling the now lifeless body.

“Sorry. Sorry. I’m sorry. Sorry. Sorry. So sorry.”

He sat there, for several long moments. Then he stood, picked up the body, and carried it inside. There was no place proper to lie her out, so he gestured that Rigsy should sit down. Once Rigsy obeyed, the Doctor placed Clara’s body into his arms. “Make sure she gets home. Make sure her family knows….”

Rigsy looked down at her. He was utterly crushed. “That she died saving some Community Support kid from...”

The Doctor looked up at Rigsy and interrupted him. “No.” He waited until Rigsy made eye contact with him before he continued. “Tell them, she died doing what she loved: saving the universe from a terrible alien threat.”

The statement confused Rigsy because he didn’t see any alien threat around them. But he gave no reply, just looked back at the woman who had given her life so that he could have his.

The Doctor took a moment to tuck a strand of hair behind Clara’s ear. He didn’t know why he did it. She wasn’t in this body any more. But he still felt like he needed to do that. Then he stood and took his place in front of the door. And then he directed all of his contained fury at Ashildr. “What Clara said about not taking revenge. She was saving _you_. I'll do my best, but I strongly advise you to keep out of my way. You'll find that it's a very small universe when I'm angry with you.”

With that he was teleported away.

Rigsy looked down at Clara and he suddenly understood what the Doctor meant by ‘terrible alien threat.’


End file.
